16 January 2010

Boring Post. SKIP! Haha. Promise I'll update (about nice stuff) soon! Ahem.

Maybe she has finally realised that it doesn't make much of a difference!

I was patient the first time (for this year). But my patience also has its limits.

You of all people should understand. You also lost your patience when you saw certain THINGS.

People who know me should know that I'm a very short-tempered person, extremely impatient and is often rude to many people. So. Consider yourself lucky that I actually CARED and bore with it, and kept my mouth zipped tight shut the first time.

The second time (for this year, this WEEK, actually), no. I won't, I CAN'T tolerate it. If I did something wrong, fine. You can do whatever you want, say whatever you want. I DO have a guilty conscience, you know. Problem is, I didn't do anything wrong. Not in the logical sense. And THAT, is why I don't understand WHY I want to apologise.

Maybe I was a tad rude. Fine, understatement. What you did. I just saw RED. I couldn't stand it. So I said a whole lot of things which were quite hurtful, I think, but sad to say, were harsh, blatant truths. Every single word. But still, that doesn't mean I have the right to say all those mean things.

Okay, actually I don't know what I'm saying. I bloody well have the RIGHT to say what I want. I just don't think what I said was necessary. Why cause so much problems in the world when I could be happy, why cause misery in other people's lives? No point.

I know I'm a hypocrite. I had the nerve to tell people to think before they speak, but I didn't really. The only thing now is I don't know if she overheard. But still, it was the truth. Someone's gotta tell her eventually, and better sooner than later right, before things got worse. Yeah, excuses, but that's what I think. *rolls eyes*

I don't want whatever is happening right now to happen all over again. I want to be happy, to make people happy if I can (although how do I make some certain people happy, I do not know), to be with my friends, and cherish every moment I have with them.

If you're reading this, which I'm sure you probably won't, maybe someone might pass on the message, then SORRY if what I said made you upset. If you were not upset because you overheard what I said, but because of what I DID instead, then forget I said anything. No apologies. Chim eh. Haha.

I won't apologise for what I did and who I chose to do it with. You're pissed about it? Then it's your problem. Wanna make yourself unhappy? It's your problem. Don't wanna be friends? It's your problem. I don't think anyone could say I didn't TRY.

I really don't think it was my fault things turned out to be like this. You were the one who started all this, eh? Things would be just the way they were if you didn't say anything or get upset about every single tiny detail which you SHOULDN'T be getting upset over. You can't control everyone, who they like, who they hate, who they want to be friends with.

We could still be friends you know, but whatever relationship we might have in the future, it's up to you. If you continue acting like this, then ... *shrugs*

I have learned many lessons. I'm going to ignore everything if possible. Stick with my close friends. Keep myself busy. Things will be okay. :)