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THE MUSHROOM



name : tan juan
age : 18
hometown : malaysia


PIECES OF ME

LOVES

MUSHROOMS
shopping
drawing
TURQUOISE
MUSIC
rainbows
chocolates
chinese orchestra
fairy tales

HATES

CICAK WTF
creepy crawlies
homework
COPY CATS
chinese




GREAT ESCAPES

*chelsea*
*chia chia*
*crystal*
*ee leng*
*ee teng*
*jhing huey*
*jia lee*
*jo ying*
*jun fang*
*lee mei*
*mok mok*
*ning zhen*
*pei jia*
*pei qi*
*rui mei*
*su yin*
*teik hua*
*tict chyn*
*wen huey*
*wen yuan*
*xin yuan*
*xue yi*
*yi ching*





MEMOIRS

♥January 2007
♥February 2007
♥March 2007
♥April 2007
♥May 2007
♥June 2007
♥July 2007
♥August 2007
♥September 2007
♥October 2007
♥November 2007
♥December 2007
♥January 2008
♥February 2008
♥March 2008
♥April 2008
♥May 2008
♥June 2008
♥July 2008
♥August 2008
♥September 2008
♥October 2008
♥November 2008
♥December 2008
♥January 2009
♥February 2009
♥March 2009
♥April 2009
♥May 2009
♥June 2009
♥July 2009
♥August 2009
♥September 2009
♥October 2009
♥November 2009
♥December 2009
♥January 2010
♥February 2010
♥March 2010
♥April 2010
♥May 2010
♥June 2010
♥July 2010
♥August 2010
♥September 2010
♥October 2010
♥November 2010
♥December 2010
♥January 2011
♥February 2011
♥March 2011
♥April 2011
♥June 2011
♥July 2011
♥August 2011
♥September 2011
♥October 2011
♥November 2011
♥January 2012
♥October 2012



THANKS TO

ME. kynzgerl
CODES. manikka
BRUSHES. 1 2
IMAGES. 1 2
The 2 paper heart: moargh.de
♥ Monday, September 28, 2009 ♥
Buggeroo

28 September 2009

Honestly, I was going to post a whole bunch of random photos I promised to post ages ago but didn't.

Now I can't, because I have to finish my Chinese essay. Make that Chinese essays. And by finish, I actually mean copy. These essays are way (WAY) overdue, but since the school is checking our Chinese books tomorrow ... And I'm lucky enough to not have been chosen at all for the books they checked a few weeks ago. (sorry, weird sentence)

Oh, my parents are back from China already! Brought back a lot of weird stuff. And the scenery WAS breathtaking. I'll show you the photos they took soon! If I don't die tomorrow, that is.

I hate school. First day back was horrible. Forgot my Tupperware. Had awful tummy-aches. It was stiflingly hot. Arrgh.

And I should be writing (fine, fine, COPYING) my Chinese essay now! But I don't feel like continuing anymore. Chinese words are a bitch to write. So many "strokes". Ughh.

God, I'm dead tired. I want to sleep. Fucking essay. Fuck fuck fuck.

P.S./ Happy Birthday, Jun Wei & E Wern! :D










craving chocolate kisses ..
11:59 PM


♥ Monday, September 21, 2009 ♥
Ferry & Frisbee

21 September 2009

Hahaha. Had quite a nice day.

Went to the jetty at around 2.30 p.m, and we took a ferry to Butterworth, to meet Jenny. We saw the Superstar Virgo! I was so excited. Ahh, nostalgia. Couldn't help thinking about how wonderful everything was back then. Sigh. Can't wait till I get on the ship again. Wonder when. Hehe.

Would have loved to take photos on the ferry, but alas, the camera is in China right now. Bugger. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

Spotted three jellyfish. Only three. I recall seeing quite a lot of them the last time I took a ferry, which is several years ago, I think. But still, I should be thankful that I can still SEE jellyfish and not just rubbish, twigs, leaves, oil spills etc floating atop the (polluted) water. Haha.

After that, we went to Penang Road for, what else? It was really, really crowded. Poo. Spent almost an hour waiting for the cendol and laksa we ordered.

Went home, indulged ourselves with delicious - albeit slightly melted - cendol, and in Jenny's case, both laksa AND cendol. Dang. Some kind of metabolism she has. She's so petite. Skinny. Unfair or what? Haha.

Then we went to Botanical Garden at around 6:15 p.m. That is the time we normally leave the park. Not go there. Haha. Met Aunty Khor and her family there! And my sister went for a jog with Aunty Khor's kids. I didn't join them as I was wearing flip-flops. I know. Typical.

After that, played Frisbee for the first time in my life! It was actually very fun. Sort of difficult to play and get used to. But still very fun. My brother's friend is way beyond awesome in playing Frisbee!! It was very pleasant to watch, the way the Frisbee spins and curves, slicing through the air, flying past our heads, and occasionally (mostly caused by me) falling into the bushes.

Thanks to the kind uncle who helped us retrieve our Frisbee from somewhere beneath the thick clumps of bushes!! (Yes lah caused by me, tsk tsk) :D

Played until almost 8 p.m. Shocking eh. The Botanical Garden looked horribly creepy at night. Haha. Kept staring at my shadow's long and skinny legs. I love shadows! If only I look like that in reality. Pfft.

Seriously, I feel fatter AND thinner today. Hahaha. Ate a lot. Perspired a lot too. My brother is making us all fat. Eeeek.

Okay. I'm exhausted. Going for dim sum tomorrow morning. At the crack of dawn. *yawns* Goodnight!

Kisses. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HSIEH YING!!




craving chocolate kisses ..
11:19 PM


♥ Saturday, September 19, 2009 ♥
It Sucks

19 September 2009

To know that it will never happen.

To know that you will never ever know about it.

To know that we are so different.

Sigh.

**********

Anyway, my parents (and the camera) left for China already, whoopee!

I can do anything I want now! For a whole week! I just don't know what yet.

This is sort of pathetic, come to think of it.

No parents, and I don't know what to do. The horror. This totally proves that I'm a good girl! Yes!

**********

Currently in love with these songs :

Two Is Better Than One - Boys Like Girls feat Taylor Swift

Another Heart Calls - All-American Rejects feat The Pierces

So nice. Soooo nice.

***********

Happy Birthday, Tessy! ♥

And also ...

Happy Birthday to Hui Min's friend-who-dances (who I don't really know)! :D




craving chocolate kisses ..
7:27 PM


♥ Friday, September 18, 2009 ♥
Happy Hols! :)

18 September 2009

Longggg, random post

I get the feeling that this holiday is going to suck. Just like the last one. Ha-ha. *rolls eyes*

Sure, my parents are going off to some place in China for the whole week. Glorious, rare, parent-free days. What could be better?

Said place is a place I don't know, and have not the slightest bit of interest in, despite the fact that my father kept showing me photos of the picturesque scenery over there. First. It's China. Which is, no offense, nowhere near the top of my "Places To Visit" list. Second, it's not me who's going there anyway. So, yeah, I couldn't care less. Haha. Selfish much?

I mean, why make myself sick with jealousy with the fact that my parents are traveling somewhere fabulous (maybe not, as I heard them talking about hiking, which is like ... *shrugs* I don't know what it's like. Just not my kind of thing.) while I'm basically stuck at home every day with the computer, the TV, no food, books which I have read thousands of times, my bed, mountains of (Chinese, wtf) homework ...

Sounds awesome huh?

No food part is a joke. Haha. Not funny.

I was planning to go out with my friends as often as I can during the hols, but unless if I walk, or take a bus (which I have totally no idea how to. Or even which bus to take, for that matter), I'm afraid that plan isn't going to be possible. But my brother is coming back from KL for a few days, thankfully. Phew.

I have to go for my (tedious) tuition on Thursday. And school on Friday. I don't know how, yet. My brother will have left by that time. Lalala.

Saveeeee me. Gosh. It sucks when my parents are home. It sucks when they aren't.

Worse still. There's this possibility that my mother will be taking the new camera (which she insists does not belong to me, and instead belongs to the whole family, just like MY SISTER'S laptop. Haha. Right.) to China.

She said she's actually very reluctant to take the newly-acquired, excellent camera with her as it might get stolen, ruined or something. Great. Just great. So if I let her (force me into letting her) take the camera, I might not see it again. Haha. Whoopee.

She was planning to take the old camera (which is currently being repaired somewhere over the rainbow), but that camera might not be back here by the time she leaves. Which is this Saturday night. Tomorrow night. Haaaa.

Yes, there is still this tiny ember of hope inside me, hoping that the camera comes home before tomorrow night. Unlikely, but one can hope right. Boo.

Geeee time flies, doesn't it? It's 1 a.m. Again. I am quite certain it was just 10 or 11 something a few minutes ago. Crazy. But well. Tomorrow's a holiday!! Maybe my parents will be too busy packing for their trip to wake me up in the morning. I don't think my sister will wake me up either as she's too engrossed with Moggy. Haha.

Actually I'm still waiting for the MSN Messenger to finish updating. Damn. It's taking ages. And making the computer laggy as well. Which in turn made me lose in Typing Maniac. Blargh.

Shit. I'm running out of things to say. Let's talk about some random things.

1. I have a hideous pimple on my face. Okay, not just one. But said pimple is a particularly conspicuous one, right on my cheek. Beastly thing. Wtf.

2. My hair is horrible. Result of not cutting my hair for a veryyy long time. Can't wait for my haircut!

3. I don't know why I don't just end this post. The darn MSN thing is still stuck at 89%. It better not crash or something.

4. Wiped my class windows for the first time today. Haha. Forced to do so. Arrgh. In the end I think I made the windows even dirtier than ever as I used the same piece of cloth my classmates used to wipe the blackboard clean. Chalk.

So, uh, if my class got some kind of "award" in the next assembly, it's probably my fault. Probably. And Rui Mei's. HAHAHA.

I remember how when she ... uh, forgot to sweep the floor that day and there were pieces of paper strewn all over the floor. And when the students in charge came to check whether if our class is clean or not, we all had to stand on the papers to hide them from view. Happened twice. Hahaha. Hilarious.

Especially when the WKs stood there for such a long time and we had to act like retards and stand on the same spot without moving. I'm sure they knew what was going on, but what could they do? Hehe.

And thanks, Juan Wen, for helping me! Loves. :D

5. Iris kept the "Little Blue Flower's Bin" a.k.a "Adam, Kris and Ryan's Bin of Love" in the class cupboard. LOL. Don't ask.

6. Gosh, I'm tired. And the fucking MSN thing is still stuck at 89%. I guess it crashed. Well, there's always tomorrow. If my father doesn't hog the computer for the whole day, that is.

7. I want to go tanning.

8. I'm feeling pretty bewildered. Extremely happy, but baffled. I don't know what's the point to all that, but still. It makes me happy, and that's all that matters. I think. Okay. Maybe not. I want to know. But I'm scared it'll hurt. Eep.

9. Rawr. I'm going to bed. My eyes are closing. And listening to a song about fireflies, falling asleep and counting sheep isn't exactly helping. I love the song though! :)

10. I miss you. Haha. Hah. Ha. Maybe not. Fine, screw that. I do.

So I was right about the MSN thing crashing. Fuck. Fuckkkkk. I waited for such a longggg time.

Sigh. Never mind.

Shit. I'm hungry! This is what I get for my EVERLASTING patience??! Stupid FortuneKookie.

P.S./ Happy Birthday, Jia Yi & Koon Yee!! :D











craving chocolate kisses ..
12:21 AM


♥ Tuesday, September 15, 2009 ♥
Die, Kanye, Dieeee

15 September 2009

Taylor Swift is awesome! Screw you, Kanye, for ruining such a happy moment for her! She totally deserved to win!

Tell me you don't find the video for You Belong With Me cute, booo.

Poor Taylor. :(

Rude guy. Show some respect! Whatever bad things he wanted to say, he could have said them when he was not in front of Taylor and like a thousand people. That was just so mean. RAWRR. Dieeeee.

I'm pretty surprised Taylor managed to just stand there and not say anything. I would have scolded that douchebag (as everyone is calling him right now) right there and maybe punch him, twice, or something. I hate people who humiliate me. Arghh. Stupid.

Gooooo Taylor! You rock!


craving chocolate kisses ..
12:37 AM


♥ Friday, September 11, 2009 ♥
Jennifer or (young) Hannibal?

11 September 2009

I just watched the Jennifer's Body TV spots.

"I'm not gonna bite you ..." RAWRR.

Is Megan Fox hot or what!?? Yes, she still manages to look disgustingly gorgeous with the horrid fangs, blood oozing out of her mouth, and the soulless pale eyes.



I love the clothes (what I have seen of it in the videos and stills anyway) she wears in the movie! Like the velvety pink jacket with the hearts in the photo above. And the pink earrings. Oh! And the fuchsia lace-up shoes are to die for.

But maybe everything only looks exceedingly good because ... well, because it's Megan Fox, damn it. Ha-ha.

And Amanda Seyfried is so cute! :)

I want to watch the movie! Yippee. I, along with the rest of the (typical and predictable) male population am going to ogle Megan Fox on the big screen! I don't know, maybe I'll have to bury my head in somebody else's chest during the scary parts. Horror flicks aren't exactly my kind of thing. I'm a ninny. I know. Hahaha. I'd probably can't sleep that night after watching the movie. IF I get to watch it. Very big IF.

Or maybe I'll dream about sexy vampires/demons trying to devour my body. Eeek.

(The sexy makes it sound better. A bit.)

Damn. I'm hungry. My Malay teacher said that nobody should eat supper because .... I forgot why, actually. BESIDES gaining weight, that is.

Okay. I'm going to bed. I woke up to the blatant noises of dumb renovations from my next-door neighbour. I thought they were finished with the renovations! I mean, there are already people living in the house! What WAS with all those deafening hammerings?

Woke up, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was something rude. Not a very nice feeling. Geee. Great way to start your day.

Right. Bed.

As Dr. Lecter would say : Ta!

Shit. Erase that. Having dreams about sexy vampires/demons devouring your body is, in my opinion, better than having dreams about mad psychiatrists biting off your nose, carving out your instestines, eating your brains, etc.

(Eh they actually sound the same. Since I'm not sure what 'devouring my body' is like. Do they just eat you whole or cut you into pieces or what?)

Of course, I wouldn't mind it if it's the younger Lecter. As in, Gaspard Ulliel. Hmm. Hot.

So the question is : who would I prefer eating me, Megan Fox or Gaspard Ulliel? Haha. Tough question.

Okay. I keep forgetting I am supposed to go to bed.

Kisses! :)





craving chocolate kisses ..
11:01 PM


♥ Wednesday, September 09, 2009 ♥
♥ 9.9.09 ♥

9 September 2009

Maybe there really is something truly magical about this day.

A lot of extraordinary things happened. Not all of them were good, but they were definitely very memorable! If it were just any typical Wednesday, I probably would have thrown a huge tantrum, sulk and scowl for the whole day, and glare at everyone who inhale the same air as I do for everything that happened today.

Not that I didn't do the above just now. I just ... er, recovered sooner. Which is quite abnormal. I mean, it's ME I'm talking about.

So. I, along with the majority of my classmates, experienced our very first spot check today! It was actually pretty exciting. Putting aside the fact(s) that quite a lot of things - including Rui Mei's and mine - were confiscated, and we all had to stand outside the class in the sweltering heat, and at the same time staring furiously at the prefects rummaging through our belongings inside the classroom.

And grumbling about how they don't respect our privacy. Acting bewildered and pretending to be shocked when they found something "illegal" in our bags.

Fine. Cross out that last part.

I was freaking pissed. I mean, who wouldn't be, right. Your stuff. Being rummaged through by total strangers.

Err, sort of took the opportunity to scold one of the (dumb) prefects, who was probably blind or something, as she obviously couldn't see that I was trying to wear my shoes by holding on to the window sill for support (weird sentence, I know). She kept asking me to go "stand over there in the line". Should have just grabbed onto her shoulder for support instead and then accidentally (on purpose) tear her shirt or something. Bastard.

Yes, we had to take off our shoes. Arrgh. Unfortunately I broke the habit of not changing my socks or washing my shoes for at least 2 years. Or the prefects would have passed out before they get the chance to check anything. Lalala.

We also shouted some things into the class - which we think the prefects and teacher chose not to hear (or didn't hear, which I highly doubt) - like, hey, why don't you just take the whole board down and check whether there are anything hidden behind? Drill a hole in the wall to see if any liquid papers are hidden inside? (OK. Not that. I have to stop making up stories, mwahaha)

Ugh, the WAY they were checking behind the papers stapled onto the board ... what? What could be hidden there, a string? A rubber band? No. Wait. I know! A liquid paper! As they are completely flat and can be slipped behind a stapled piece of paper on the board. *roll eyes*

After a while, the teacher finally thanked us (for our cooperation? Like we had a choice...) and allowed us to re-enter the classroom. I loved how HP said "you're welcome" to her. I was pretty sure I detected sarcasm in her voice. I don't know. Couldn't be 100% sure. xD

So, my adorable orange pill earrings (A PRESENT FROM EELENG, NO LESS, WTF) were confiscated. The prefect was cute enough to ask me : "Do you want this back?"

And I told her : "If I can, of course I want it back." Like duh. Duhhh.

Then she said : "Oh, gotta ask the teacher first."

Toot. That was weird. But no matter. I think that particular prefect is a nice enough prefect. After all, it wasn't what she wanted to do, right. Unless if she actually took pleasure in confiscating our stuff and demeriting us (which, yeah, I "highly doubt", because she's not HER).

Cursed and swore a lot. Was a tad vulgar. (that might be an understatement. Might.) But I'm sure that's not news anymore!

Anyway. It was quite an experience, the spot check. Not something I anticipate experiencing again in the future. Unless if the class we are having is deathly tedious. But no. It's probably not worth it.

I was actually very happy yesterday (since it's past 12 a.m now) despite being so exhausted. Couldn't sleep the past night as I drank three cups of tea at night. Crazy thing to do, I know. Also watched Silence of the Lambs (again). Maybe Dr. Lecter's scary, penetrating eyes were the reason I couldn't sleep. Or the screaming of those lambs. Hahaha.

Okay. No. It was the tea.

I tossed and turned for hours. 2 o'clock .4 o'clock. 6 o'clock. My sister threw the soft toy at me before she went to school, BEFORE SHE WENT TO SCHOOL, and I was awake. Geee. Some sort of tea that was.

Oh. Right. Heard some peculiar news yesterday. A bit unsettling, really. But maybe there was a mistake. Maybe.

Kisses! :)






craving chocolate kisses ..
11:22 PM


♥ Saturday, September 05, 2009 ♥
Nostalgia

5 September 2009

Long post. Photos below. *yawn* Nothing changes. Ha-ha.

It was a peculiar sensation. Jolts in my stomach. Dizziness. Tingle down the spine. Shudders. Hair-raising. A complicated mixture of emotions.

I couldn't stop smiling as I reminisced about those days, but I wanted to cry too. Not tears of joy, but not tears of sadness either. I don't know what.

It could be both. I was - still am, as a matter of fact - undeniably happy about how perfect everything was. The fact that I can never experience anything like it again is truly appalling.

Everyone will be traveling down different roads soon. I don't know if our paths will ever cross again, but I'm hoping that they will.

I really want things to return to the way they used to be. The things he said to us today were so devastating.

The hard, cold truth. I don't want him to feel disappointed. But it's not easy. It's not up to us anymore. It's up to them. If they don't change, then there's no hope anymore.

Determination. I'm going to make them change even if it's the last thing I do. Because only then can I get a slight taste of what I have been missing all this time. It won't be the same. It never will, unless if everyone, and I mean everyone, even those from last year, decide to come back. Which is impossible.

And we can't expect them to be our white knights forever, right? We have to do it on our own. We CAN do it on our own. *dubious look* No. Noooo. We can. Go away, Doubt.

Hahaha. Admit it. You have no idea what I'm rambling about. No matter. Neither do I. And it's not important.

*******************************

I'm going to post some photos of the ballet concert now! *gasp* For once, most the photos are not of me! Haha. Rejoicing already?

Uh. Wait. Let me say this first.

So. I met Rui Mei there, and for once she wasn't late! Haha. Then we found some seats and sat down. I was chatting with her happily, until some woman came and sat down in front of me. The seat in front of Rui Mei was empty.

But, as I'm a shorty, we moved a few seats to the right. Was showing Rui Mei some photos, when she suddenly said : "Wei. Can I laugh?" while jerking her head forwards. Another guy came and sat in front of me. Again. And the seat in front of Rui Mei was still empty.

So we moved again. And still another (TALL) guy came and sat in front of me and not Rui Mei. And by that time there were no more available seats for us to move around anymore. Hahaha. Hilarious.

There was also a group of children who stood on their seats a few rows in front of us. I kept cursing and swearing at the back because I couldn't see a thing. Really, how inconsiderate are their parents? Like my mom said, they should have sat at the last row (where we sat) so they won't block anyone's view. Stupid.

*Photos not of very good quality.

First, I was sitting at the last row on the ... flat ground? Not "upstairs". However you say it. Second, well. It just goes to show that the Canon IXUS cameras take lousy photographs in the dark.






The Waltz of the Flowers.

See, I told you the lighting was magnificent. Everything looked so ethereal, so surreal, so ...

I felt like a (Sugar Plum) fairy in the enchanted garden myself! Haha. No. Not really. Especially when you had a friend next to you saying that the large tree in the middle looked like a villus. Hahaha.

Oh, and especially when the narrator was a person who spoke without any enthusiasm, without any fervour. It was horrible. Boooo. He ruined a perfectly nice ballet concert. *grimace*


Rainbow (or something)

Loved the colours! :)


Eunice as the Sun (or something)

She looks sooo gorgeous in this photo. HAHAHA. Ning Zhen agreed!!






Ning Zhen




Ning Zhen & I



I KNOW I KNOW PHOTO QUALITY VERY LOUSY RIGHT!!! Maybe I just selected the wrong mode. *shrug* But I doubt so.


Rui Mei, Ning Zhen, Ning Hui & I

Stupid Rui Mei! I was going to stand beside Ning Zhen but she pushed me away. Booo. Never mind! At least I still stood beside a ballet dancer and not Rui Mei. Hahaha.

I also took a photo with Rui Mei, but she was talking on the phone at that time, and well, the photo is not exactly very ... flattering, so, to prevent myself from getting killed, I won't post it up. Hahaha. Another photo of her to add to my collection! Yes!!

Okay. I gotta go for lunch now! I'm going to post photos of Mok's present in the next post. Sorry. Still no performance photos. Doubt that you even want to see them anymore lah since, like I said, most of the photos are of (the gorgeous) yours truly. HAHAHA.

Watched the DVD. Want to smack the person who recorded the video because he didn't zoom in on Mok during her solo part. WTF leh. Instead he zoomed in on the cello players and percussionists. Who weren't really doing anything much. Dumb. DUMB. *clench fists*

My Olive Tree was actually pretty bad. But I still think (for me) the Olive Tree during the school concert was far worse. Never mind. Poooo.





craving chocolate kisses ..
10:56 PM