♥ Friday, May 29, 2009 ♥
Happy Holidays!
29 May 2009
Happy holidays, everyone!
This, is the perfect start to a brilliant holiday. Yep.
WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!
One thing. I can't stand people looking at me doing something in the computer, especially WHEN I AM CHATTING TO SOMEBODY, especially when I'm blogging, especially when I'm reading my friends' blogs, et cetera.
So KEEP YOUR DISTANCE, especially when I'm chatting to someone. I can't type anything when someone's watching. I can't do things when someone's watching. More specifically. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WHEN AN ADULT'S WATCHING. I feel so awkward. NO PRIVACY. Yes. Privacy. HEARD OF THE WORD BEFORE? HUH?
If they look at what I'm doing, i.e, whose blog I am reading, then they'll probably launch into a long, stern lecture session. "Oh you can't believe everything you read (I KNOW THAT THANK YOU VERY MUCH), you better not read this, blah, blah, blah."
If I'm playing games, fine. If I'm watching hilarious videos on YouTube? The more the merrier. If I'm CHATTING WITH SOMEBODY, then no it is bloody well NOT okay to stand there and stare. SO FUCK OFF.
I should do something about it. Maybe I will SUBTLY announce that I hate people watching what I'm doing. Like I haven't done that before. *rolls eyes* Not just when I'm using the computer. Sometimes, when I'm basically doing nothing, just sitting there and staring into space, SOME people will have to stare. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL? No. I'm biased. I only mind SOME certain people staring, scrutinizing my every move.
I, am born a very paranoid person. My brain tends to overreact, tends to think too much..
I am worried that people will intercept my messages that contain confidential information.
I am worried about so many unlikely-to-happen things. Why? I don't know. To me, there must always be a reason for everything. For example. Stares. The most common thing. Yeah, I dismissed many of those stares as dreamy, staring-into-space kind of stares. Which means that it appears that people are looking at you but they aren't actually seeing anything. I always do that. Oblivious to the whole world and the people in it.
Then, there are some types of stares that make me paranoid. Like, is there a beetle in my hair or something? Did I step on piles of dog poop? Why is there such an awful smell that is SO awfully close to me? Is it because of me?
I mean, they could just be staring blankly at you and not seeing you at all. It is all my overactive mind's fault. Mess things up. Argh.
I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM LIKE THIS BUT I JUST AM AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
Sigh. Horrible day.
*************
I have to go to school early tomorrow morning.
Yes, the holidays are going to be awesome.
I'm sorry, Ee Leng. Really.
Happy holidays, everyone!
This, is the perfect start to a brilliant holiday. Yep.
WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!
One thing. I can't stand people looking at me doing something in the computer, especially WHEN I AM CHATTING TO SOMEBODY, especially when I'm blogging, especially when I'm reading my friends' blogs, et cetera.
So KEEP YOUR DISTANCE, especially when I'm chatting to someone. I can't type anything when someone's watching. I can't do things when someone's watching. More specifically. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WHEN AN ADULT'S WATCHING. I feel so awkward. NO PRIVACY. Yes. Privacy. HEARD OF THE WORD BEFORE? HUH?
If they look at what I'm doing, i.e, whose blog I am reading, then they'll probably launch into a long, stern lecture session. "Oh you can't believe everything you read (I KNOW THAT THANK YOU VERY MUCH), you better not read this, blah, blah, blah."
If I'm playing games, fine. If I'm watching hilarious videos on YouTube? The more the merrier. If I'm CHATTING WITH SOMEBODY, then no it is bloody well NOT okay to stand there and stare. SO FUCK OFF.
I should do something about it. Maybe I will SUBTLY announce that I hate people watching what I'm doing. Like I haven't done that before. *rolls eyes* Not just when I'm using the computer. Sometimes, when I'm basically doing nothing, just sitting there and staring into space, SOME people will have to stare. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL? No. I'm biased. I only mind SOME certain people staring, scrutinizing my every move.
I, am born a very paranoid person. My brain tends to overreact, tends to think too much..
I am worried that people will intercept my messages that contain confidential information.
I am worried about so many unlikely-to-happen things. Why? I don't know. To me, there must always be a reason for everything. For example. Stares. The most common thing. Yeah, I dismissed many of those stares as dreamy, staring-into-space kind of stares. Which means that it appears that people are looking at you but they aren't actually seeing anything. I always do that. Oblivious to the whole world and the people in it.
Then, there are some types of stares that make me paranoid. Like, is there a beetle in my hair or something? Did I step on piles of dog poop? Why is there such an awful smell that is SO awfully close to me? Is it because of me?
I mean, they could just be staring blankly at you and not seeing you at all. It is all my overactive mind's fault. Mess things up. Argh.
I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM LIKE THIS BUT I JUST AM AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
Sigh. Horrible day.
*************
I have to go to school early tomorrow morning.
Yes, the holidays are going to be awesome.
I'm sorry, Ee Leng. Really.
♥ craving chocolate kisses ..
11:27 PM
11:27 PM
♥ Tuesday, May 26, 2009 ♥
I Saw a Demon, Of That I'm Sure
26 May 2009
I feel like killing myself!
After English and Chemistry. Arrgh. Especially English. *slaps self*
Sigh. Fine, I'm not one to dwell on things of the past.
Not.
Pffft. Like Rui Mei said, if we even get an A in this exam (11 subjects overall?), we will celebrate 3 days, 3 nights, 3 dawns, 3 dusks, 3 sunsets, 3 sunrises, 3 twilights, 3 eclipses, 3 light years, etc. Modified version. Forgot what she said originally. But you get the picture.
To me? I think I'll celebrate if I get a 70% and above.
Damn I made so many careless mistakes!! And I so don't want to care about the Chinese exam tomorrow. And Modern Maths. Die. Die. Die. I don't feel like doing anything anymore, after English and Chemistry. *wails*
Why is it that I always suck at the subjects I like? WHY??! Same with Arts. Paintbrushes. Paint. Paintings are nice to see, nice to admire, but a pain in the ass when you are the one who's doing the actual painting. In my case.
AND WHY IS IT I ALSO SUCK AT THE SUBJECTS I DISLIKE? WTF.
*starts singing* My life is brilliant. My loathe is pure. I saw a demon. Of that I'm sure. Oh, you're (not referring to demon) beautiful, it's true.
It's true. Really.
3 more papers. I can't wait.
Oh by the way, I had a little chat with our Add Maths teacher today. ARGHH. FUCK ADD MATHS. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
(I take back what I said that day. About me liking Add Maths sometimes. See what happens when you say good stuff about someone/something? Blah.)
(Eh I take back what I said about the 70% thing too. Who knows, I might not even get a 60%. That's life.)
(Wtf. I also take back the demon thing.)
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY PRINTER?! THIS IS CRAP. THIS IS CRAPPPPPPPPPPPP.
I feel like killing myself!
After English and Chemistry. Arrgh. Especially English. *slaps self*
Sigh. Fine, I'm not one to dwell on things of the past.
Not.
Pffft. Like Rui Mei said, if we even get an A in this exam (11 subjects overall?), we will celebrate 3 days, 3 nights, 3 dawns, 3 dusks, 3 sunsets, 3 sunrises, 3 twilights, 3 eclipses, 3 light years, etc. Modified version. Forgot what she said originally. But you get the picture.
To me? I think I'll celebrate if I get a 70% and above.
Damn I made so many careless mistakes!! And I so don't want to care about the Chinese exam tomorrow. And Modern Maths. Die. Die. Die. I don't feel like doing anything anymore, after English and Chemistry. *wails*
Why is it that I always suck at the subjects I like? WHY??! Same with Arts. Paintbrushes. Paint. Paintings are nice to see, nice to admire, but a pain in the ass when you are the one who's doing the actual painting. In my case.
AND WHY IS IT I ALSO SUCK AT THE SUBJECTS I DISLIKE? WTF.
*starts singing* My life is brilliant. My loathe is pure. I saw a demon. Of that I'm sure. Oh, you're (not referring to demon) beautiful, it's true.
It's true. Really.
3 more papers. I can't wait.
Oh by the way, I had a little chat with our Add Maths teacher today. ARGHH. FUCK ADD MATHS. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
(I take back what I said that day. About me liking Add Maths sometimes. See what happens when you say good stuff about someone/something? Blah.)
(Eh I take back what I said about the 70% thing too. Who knows, I might not even get a 60%. That's life.)
(Wtf. I also take back the demon thing.)
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY PRINTER?! THIS IS CRAP. THIS IS CRAPPPPPPPPPPPP.
♥ craving chocolate kisses ..
10:53 PM
10:53 PM
♥ Sunday, May 24, 2009 ♥
History, History
24 May 2009
The fascinating, wonderful HISTORY.
I SO want to tear the book into pieces and throw them out of the window.
Why?! Why do I have to waste my precious time memorising people's names? Especially names like Abu Blah Abu Blah Blah and Abu Blah Blah Blah? *rolls eyes*
Shit. I don't feel like studying Chapter 4 of History anymore. It's deathly boring, I can't understand a thing, every name sounds similar to me, there are no pictures only words, blaarghh.
(I want pictures not because I actually want to see them I just want less words and less stupid stuff to memorise)
*****************
Sigh, I need a miracle. In two weeks. During the period from the 4th of June to the 10th of June. More specifically, on the 9th of June. *crosses fingers* I hope I really was too tired yesterday, and not anything else. I feel so anxious. Eeeek. Poke my eye.
Anyway. On a happier note, the holidays are approaching! Yay! But not before the beastly exam is over. Bitch. Will this never end?
Okay. Time to go study about Nabis and Rasuls and whatnots. Intriguing indeed.
Oh, by the way. I'm going to fail my Add Maths too. Cheers! =D
And I officially announce that I've fallen in love with Taylor Swift!! (I used to dislike her, when she was in her super-skinny, funky-boots-wearing phase)
The fascinating, wonderful HISTORY.
I SO want to tear the book into pieces and throw them out of the window.
Why?! Why do I have to waste my precious time memorising people's names? Especially names like Abu Blah Abu Blah Blah and Abu Blah Blah Blah? *rolls eyes*
Shit. I don't feel like studying Chapter 4 of History anymore. It's deathly boring, I can't understand a thing, every name sounds similar to me, there are no pictures only words, blaarghh.
(I want pictures not because I actually want to see them I just want less words and less stupid stuff to memorise)
*****************
Sigh, I need a miracle. In two weeks. During the period from the 4th of June to the 10th of June. More specifically, on the 9th of June. *crosses fingers* I hope I really was too tired yesterday, and not anything else. I feel so anxious. Eeeek. Poke my eye.
Anyway. On a happier note, the holidays are approaching! Yay! But not before the beastly exam is over. Bitch. Will this never end?
Okay. Time to go study about Nabis and Rasuls and whatnots. Intriguing indeed.
Oh, by the way. I'm going to fail my Add Maths too. Cheers! =D
And I officially announce that I've fallen in love with Taylor Swift!! (I used to dislike her, when she was in her super-skinny, funky-boots-wearing phase)
♥ craving chocolate kisses ..
11:00 PM
11:00 PM
♥ Thursday, May 21, 2009 ♥
The Owl and The Geese
21 May 2009
There's this very cute animated show called The Owl - if you consider something that lasts for approximately 1 minute a show - by Alexandre So at NTV7, 8.30 p.m.
The show, or more accurately, CLIPS, are about a super cute pink owl who is prone to all sorts of awful disasters and accidents. It always ends up dead, be it being cut into half by a rough branch, trapped inside a huge bubble, shooting off into the velvety, starry sky like a firework ....
It just looks so stupid and dopey! SO ADORABLE!
Aww.
Anyway. One more week and the agonizing exam will be over! Yay! Except that there will be more awful things after the exam : RESULTS. Gulp.
Our Physics Paper 2 sucked. Haha. I couldn't remember a single formula. Work, power, energy, gravitational forces ... All the effort for nothing. I sacrificed so much time to study Physics. And I forgot everything. Damn.
I am most probably going to fail Physics. I contemplated whether to hand in blank sheets (take note : blank sheets, PLURAL), but in the end I just left two questions blank and scribbled a bunch of nonsense for the other questions. Which, in my opinion, is not much different from leaving it blank.
I'm sure our Physics teacher will have a horrible time marking all our papers. Poor thing.
And Chinese. HAHAHA. Chinese. Oh, smack me till I die. If I don't already die from seeing my results, that is.
Biology today. I stayed up until the ungodly hour of 5 o'clock in the morning and woke up at around 8 - 9 o'clock. I'm pretty exhausted, but I still need to revise for the Add Maths *grimace* exam tomorrow, so goodness knows why I'm lying here so comfortably, posting nonsensical stuff on my blog. Boo.
I keep thinking that everything will be over tomorrow, but no. The truth is pretty harsh. I have two History (studying about a guy who married a LADY 25 years his senior? Oh, but how fascinating! Really!) papers next week. Not to mention Biology and Physics Paper 1, and worse still, Chinese Paper 2. And Modern Maths. Oh my God. AND ENGLISH.
I hate Modern Maths. I know it's unbelievable, this coming out of my mouth, but I actually LIKE Add Maths. Sometimes. When compared to Modern Maths. Those who know me should know that mathematics (and Chinese) is my eternal enemy.
I feel so sorry for myself. Pity. I know it's a bad thing to say, when I actually have so much compared to some less fortunate people. But I still pity myself. I pity myself for being born in Malaysia. I feel sorry for myself that I am studying subjects that I hate and have zero interest in.
Our Chinese teacher mentioned something about a school somewhere abroad (but of course, where else? HERE?). A school where the students can decide what they want to study for the day, or if they even want to study at all. I think it's awesome. And it makes sense.
Like, me. I feel like studying Chinese today. (this is just an example. Obviously.) I actually WANT to study Chinese. So I'll tell the teacher, eh I want to study Chinese today!
Then of course I'd be very enthusiastic and willing to learn, right? Because it is actually my choice, what I want. Who doesn't like doing something he/she wants to do? So of course I will try my best and learn all I can.
Okay. End of babble. I want to sleep. But I have to study Add Maths. What the fuck. I HATE PHYSICS!!!! (eh. I think that was slightly irrelevant. Came out of nowhere.)
Oh wait, I also have to say this : I saw a house with plenty of geese (at least, I think they were geese)!! Running around on the grassy compound! SO CUTE! I don't know! Rearing geese sounds pretty awesome to me. So country-like!
Then I can wear a colourful, flowery frock, tie a scarf around my head, wear classic flat Mary-Janes, hold a wicker basket in my hand and go collect wild flowers, talk to the Big Bad Wolf and then go collect eggs. Geese' eggs. (wait, that also doesn't sound right.) Fucked-up fairy tale. Welcome to my life.
Oh geese (jeez), I'm hungry. Again.
There's this very cute animated show called The Owl - if you consider something that lasts for approximately 1 minute a show - by Alexandre So at NTV7, 8.30 p.m.
The show, or more accurately, CLIPS, are about a super cute pink owl who is prone to all sorts of awful disasters and accidents. It always ends up dead, be it being cut into half by a rough branch, trapped inside a huge bubble, shooting off into the velvety, starry sky like a firework ....
It just looks so stupid and dopey! SO ADORABLE!
Aww.
Anyway. One more week and the agonizing exam will be over! Yay! Except that there will be more awful things after the exam : RESULTS. Gulp.
Our Physics Paper 2 sucked. Haha. I couldn't remember a single formula. Work, power, energy, gravitational forces ... All the effort for nothing. I sacrificed so much time to study Physics. And I forgot everything. Damn.
I am most probably going to fail Physics. I contemplated whether to hand in blank sheets (take note : blank sheets, PLURAL), but in the end I just left two questions blank and scribbled a bunch of nonsense for the other questions. Which, in my opinion, is not much different from leaving it blank.
I'm sure our Physics teacher will have a horrible time marking all our papers. Poor thing.
And Chinese. HAHAHA. Chinese. Oh, smack me till I die. If I don't already die from seeing my results, that is.
Biology today. I stayed up until the ungodly hour of 5 o'clock in the morning and woke up at around 8 - 9 o'clock. I'm pretty exhausted, but I still need to revise for the Add Maths *grimace* exam tomorrow, so goodness knows why I'm lying here so comfortably, posting nonsensical stuff on my blog. Boo.
I keep thinking that everything will be over tomorrow, but no. The truth is pretty harsh. I have two History (studying about a guy who married a LADY 25 years his senior? Oh, but how fascinating! Really!) papers next week. Not to mention Biology and Physics Paper 1, and worse still, Chinese Paper 2. And Modern Maths. Oh my God. AND ENGLISH.
I hate Modern Maths. I know it's unbelievable, this coming out of my mouth, but I actually LIKE Add Maths. Sometimes. When compared to Modern Maths. Those who know me should know that mathematics (and Chinese) is my eternal enemy.
I feel so sorry for myself. Pity. I know it's a bad thing to say, when I actually have so much compared to some less fortunate people. But I still pity myself. I pity myself for being born in Malaysia. I feel sorry for myself that I am studying subjects that I hate and have zero interest in.
Our Chinese teacher mentioned something about a school somewhere abroad (but of course, where else? HERE?). A school where the students can decide what they want to study for the day, or if they even want to study at all. I think it's awesome. And it makes sense.
Like, me. I feel like studying Chinese today. (this is just an example. Obviously.) I actually WANT to study Chinese. So I'll tell the teacher, eh I want to study Chinese today!
Then of course I'd be very enthusiastic and willing to learn, right? Because it is actually my choice, what I want. Who doesn't like doing something he/she wants to do? So of course I will try my best and learn all I can.
Okay. End of babble. I want to sleep. But I have to study Add Maths. What the fuck. I HATE PHYSICS!!!! (eh. I think that was slightly irrelevant. Came out of nowhere.)
Oh wait, I also have to say this : I saw a house with plenty of geese (at least, I think they were geese)!! Running around on the grassy compound! SO CUTE! I don't know! Rearing geese sounds pretty awesome to me. So country-like!
Then I can wear a colourful, flowery frock, tie a scarf around my head, wear classic flat Mary-Janes, hold a wicker basket in my hand and go collect wild flowers, talk to the Big Bad Wolf and then go collect eggs. Geese' eggs. (wait, that also doesn't sound right.) Fucked-up fairy tale. Welcome to my life.
Oh geese (jeez), I'm hungry. Again.
♥ craving chocolate kisses ..
9:22 PM
9:22 PM
♥ Monday, May 18, 2009 ♥
It's Too Late To Cry Anyway
18 May 2009
Deleted everything I posted this morning.
So! The first day of exams!
I feel so dejected. I don't even feel remotely like studying anymore.
The Chemistry paper was tough. Like, seriously, horribly tough. I couldn't finish it in time, so I just shaded a few answers at random. Lalala.
And I wrote lousy English essays too! I want to kill myself. I couldn't concentrate, even though I didn't feel sleepy at all. My head just felt heavy, and my brain refused to work.
AND I ran out of time too. I finished writing the essays at around 2 minutes before the end of the exam. I spent too long a time writing the first essay - a mistake I was warned against by many people - and I ended up writing a super-lousy essay for the second section because I was short of time.
Oh, I want to kill myself all right. But no need to cry over spilled milk, yadda yadda, I should study hard (harder) for Malay and Moral tomorrow.
Haha. Malay. I'd most probably fail the subject. I am so dreading the two hours tomorrow. There are so many things to study and memorise, and I haven't touched a single thing. I memorised Moral (which normal person MEMORISES moral values huh? Right. The students here do.), but haven't studied the extra, important notes.
Problem is, I MUST go to sleep early (earlier) today or else I won't be able to sit through the exams tomorrow.
And the other problem is, how can I not stay up late? I HAVE TO STUDY BIOLOGY TOO. Haven't touched a thing either. HAHA. And I have just a little bit of Physics left. But the little bit is pretty hard.
So I'm sort of surprised at myself for having no reaction and a feeling of unusual calmness, when I know that I will be meeting Death soon. (ok, maybe one of death's daughters/sons, the one specifically in charge of people who die in exams)
I don't know why. I don't think I care anymore. It's far too late to cry anyway. Tears/anger/resentment doesn't make things any better.
OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
Deleted everything I posted this morning.
So! The first day of exams!
I feel so dejected. I don't even feel remotely like studying anymore.
The Chemistry paper was tough. Like, seriously, horribly tough. I couldn't finish it in time, so I just shaded a few answers at random. Lalala.
And I wrote lousy English essays too! I want to kill myself. I couldn't concentrate, even though I didn't feel sleepy at all. My head just felt heavy, and my brain refused to work.
AND I ran out of time too. I finished writing the essays at around 2 minutes before the end of the exam. I spent too long a time writing the first essay - a mistake I was warned against by many people - and I ended up writing a super-lousy essay for the second section because I was short of time.
Oh, I want to kill myself all right. But no need to cry over spilled milk, yadda yadda, I should study hard (harder) for Malay and Moral tomorrow.
Haha. Malay. I'd most probably fail the subject. I am so dreading the two hours tomorrow. There are so many things to study and memorise, and I haven't touched a single thing. I memorised Moral (which normal person MEMORISES moral values huh? Right. The students here do.), but haven't studied the extra, important notes.
Problem is, I MUST go to sleep early (earlier) today or else I won't be able to sit through the exams tomorrow.
And the other problem is, how can I not stay up late? I HAVE TO STUDY BIOLOGY TOO. Haven't touched a thing either. HAHA. And I have just a little bit of Physics left. But the little bit is pretty hard.
So I'm sort of surprised at myself for having no reaction and a feeling of unusual calmness, when I know that I will be meeting Death soon. (ok, maybe one of death's daughters/sons, the one specifically in charge of people who die in exams)
I don't know why. I don't think I care anymore. It's far too late to cry anyway. Tears/anger/resentment doesn't make things any better.
OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
Tuning to :
Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starship ft Leighton Meester
(yes! Blair Waldorf! From Gossip Girl!)
You Belong to Me - Taylor Swift
(she is so pretty and adorable! I was just thinking how kissable her pink, pouty lips look HAHA. Yes obviously I'm not feeling myself today.)
(yes! Blair Waldorf! From Gossip Girl!)
You Belong to Me - Taylor Swift
(she is so pretty and adorable! I was just thinking how kissable her pink, pouty lips look HAHA. Yes obviously I'm not feeling myself today.)
♥ craving chocolate kisses ..
9:59 AM
9:59 AM
♥ Friday, May 15, 2009 ♥
A First Time For Everything
15 May 2009
I had an amazing day yesterday!
Because I didn't go to school. Haha. It was the first time (I KNOW! THE HORROR!) I didn't go to school just because I didn't feel like it. No, actually, it was the first time my parents actually allowed me to NOT go to school. Even when I was perfectly healthy, sane, etc, etc.
Okay, that's not exactly the truth. Truth is, I was never courageous enough to ask them if they allow me to not go to school. I even got reprimanded when I asked if I could skip my tuition, for goodness' sake.
So. Went for tuition in the morning, came home, had an awful lunch of soggy cabbages, talked to Iris (who was, predictably, watching the TV, haha), tried to do the Add Maths exercise, failed miserably,tried to commit suicide ....
So, the second "First Time" of the day was actually having lunch at home. As in lunch cooked by the maid. I never went to school late enough to have lunch at home. Or I just cooked something for myself, which was obviously not the same. I am such a good cook!! *frowns* Okay, that doesn't sound right. But still. I like cabbages, but I hate them all oily and soggy! WHAT DID SHE DO TO THE CABBAGES!
BUT STILL! I don't even know how to fry an egg (scrambled eggs yes, original fried eggs no), let alone cook cabbages. Hahah. So I should shut up now.
After my futile (oh shut up I love this word futile futile futile) attempts to do the Add Maths exercise (how could I have missed Logarithms, how?!), I went upstairs and tried to study Chemistry, ON THE BED, and of course, I fell asleep.
Woke up with a stiff and aching neck, went downstairs, tried to study Chemistry again while laughing inwardly at all the people suffering at school. (But then it was actually their choice to go to school, so I doubt that they actually suffered much) Double period Chinese! History! MALAY! *snorts*
Sorry. Can't help feeling just a little bit gleeful. Haha. Hah. HAHAHAHAHA.
My mum and I went to the optometrist's later, got our eyes checked, found out that my short-sightedness have worsened, AND ..... CONTACT LENSES!
Miraculously, my mum allowed me to make (is make even the correct word?) contact lenses!!! OMG OMG OMG!! Thank you! Merci bien! Gracias! Terima Kasih! *swipes tear*
After getting used to the normal monthly lenses, I can even get coloured ones! TURQUOISE!
That, was the main reason why I couldn't stop smiling the whole day.
Okay, I'm even smiling now, 2 o'clock in the morning, sitting here and multitasking, all alone. Playing Maple Story (waiting for the MP to load, again), flipping through the Chemistry book again (because I can't be bothered to get the Physics/Biology book from my room), and blogging.
I am well aware of the fact that I haven't posted a single photo since ... I don't know, 28 years ago? Pfft. I'll TRY to post those photos that I promised to post after the exams. If I am still alive, like I said.
Anyway, here are a few photos! To make myself feel better. I hate blogs without photos. I don't want to hate my own blog!
Jellyfish! (Still alive)
I WANT TO EAT! Ahem.
Eek. Like the poor thing wasn't in the worst of worst lucks already, getting washed ashore. It had to endure scrutinies from people, endure being poked with sticks and being pinched with a pair of forceps. Ouch.
We are so sorry, Mr. Jellyfish. =(
Curiosity. You're going to want to know what ittastes feels like. - Elizabeth Swann (Pirates of the Caribbean : Dead Man's Chest)
Taste, I'd like to taste the jellyfish too! Tempting. I like jellyfish sushi. Sounds gross but it's yummy ...
Yes! It really was a unique lake! I had never seen anything like it before.
Unique .... in the sense that there was no water! Ha-ha. =_=
But still, it was really ... picturesque. Thick, swirling wisps of fog against the lush green trees, a dull, gloomy sky with no clouds (it rained), a wide expanse of grayish mud and sand (which was technically the Meromictic lake) dotted with hundreds of red-clawed crabs, mudskippers ... skipping? happily - and kind of derisively in my opinion, since we tried to catch them but failed dismally because they were too quick for us - on the surface of the yellowish waters, filthy old boots ...
Oh, it was picturesque all right.
I have many other photos but I want to continue playing Maple now! (Screw Chemistry. Or Physics. OR Biology. Or anything else.)(Okay it is actually 3 o'clock in the morning. I have to sleep.)
Goodnight! Sweet dreams.
Maybe I'll dream about being a giant butterfly when I sleep tonight. Ahem. Hopefully I will still remember myself (and you) when I wake up. xD
Maybe we'll BOTH turn into butterflies and weave a tragic (although I prefer typical, happy ones) love story like ... like ... that ... don't know what it's called in English.
Nights! =)
I had an amazing day yesterday!
Because I didn't go to school. Haha. It was the first time (I KNOW! THE HORROR!) I didn't go to school just because I didn't feel like it. No, actually, it was the first time my parents actually allowed me to NOT go to school. Even when I was perfectly healthy, sane, etc, etc.
Okay, that's not exactly the truth. Truth is, I was never courageous enough to ask them if they allow me to not go to school. I even got reprimanded when I asked if I could skip my tuition, for goodness' sake.
So. Went for tuition in the morning, came home, had an awful lunch of soggy cabbages, talked to Iris (who was, predictably, watching the TV, haha), tried to do the Add Maths exercise, failed miserably,
So, the second "First Time" of the day was actually having lunch at home. As in lunch cooked by the maid. I never went to school late enough to have lunch at home. Or I just cooked something for myself, which was obviously not the same. I am such a good cook!! *frowns* Okay, that doesn't sound right. But still. I like cabbages, but I hate them all oily and soggy! WHAT DID SHE DO TO THE CABBAGES!
BUT STILL! I don't even know how to fry an egg (scrambled eggs yes, original fried eggs no), let alone cook cabbages. Hahah. So I should shut up now.
After my futile (oh shut up I love this word futile futile futile) attempts to do the Add Maths exercise (how could I have missed Logarithms, how?!), I went upstairs and tried to study Chemistry, ON THE BED, and of course, I fell asleep.
Woke up with a stiff and aching neck, went downstairs, tried to study Chemistry again while laughing inwardly at all the people suffering at school. (But then it was actually their choice to go to school, so I doubt that they actually suffered much) Double period Chinese! History! MALAY! *snorts*
Sorry. Can't help feeling just a little bit gleeful. Haha. Hah. HAHAHAHAHA.
My mum and I went to the optometrist's later, got our eyes checked, found out that my short-sightedness have worsened, AND ..... CONTACT LENSES!
Miraculously, my mum allowed me to make (is make even the correct word?) contact lenses!!! OMG OMG OMG!! Thank you! Merci bien! Gracias! Terima Kasih! *swipes tear*
After getting used to the normal monthly lenses, I can even get coloured ones! TURQUOISE!
That, was the main reason why I couldn't stop smiling the whole day.
Okay, I'm even smiling now, 2 o'clock in the morning, sitting here and multitasking, all alone. Playing Maple Story (waiting for the MP to load, again), flipping through the Chemistry book again (because I can't be bothered to get the Physics/Biology book from my room), and blogging.
I am well aware of the fact that I haven't posted a single photo since ... I don't know, 28 years ago? Pfft. I'll TRY to post those photos that I promised to post after the exams. If I am still alive, like I said.
Anyway, here are a few photos! To make myself feel better. I hate blogs without photos. I don't want to hate my own blog!
Jellyfish! (Still alive)
I WANT TO EAT! Ahem.
Eek. Like the poor thing wasn't in the worst of worst lucks already, getting washed ashore. It had to endure scrutinies from people, endure being poked with sticks and being pinched with a pair of forceps. Ouch.
We are so sorry, Mr. Jellyfish. =(
Curiosity. You're going to want to know what it
Taste, I'd like to taste the jellyfish too! Tempting. I like jellyfish sushi. Sounds gross but it's yummy ...
Yes! It really was a unique lake! I had never seen anything like it before.
Unique .... in the sense that there was no water! Ha-ha. =_=
But still, it was really ... picturesque. Thick, swirling wisps of fog against the lush green trees, a dull, gloomy sky with no clouds (it rained), a wide expanse of grayish mud and sand (which was technically the Meromictic lake) dotted with hundreds of red-clawed crabs, mudskippers ... skipping? happily - and kind of derisively in my opinion, since we tried to catch them but failed dismally because they were too quick for us - on the surface of the yellowish waters, filthy old boots ...
Oh, it was picturesque all right.
I have many other photos but I want to continue playing Maple now! (Screw Chemistry. Or Physics. OR Biology. Or anything else.)(Okay it is actually 3 o'clock in the morning. I have to sleep.)
Goodnight! Sweet dreams.
Maybe I'll dream about being a giant butterfly when I sleep tonight. Ahem. Hopefully I will still remember myself (and you) when I wake up. xD
Maybe we'll BOTH turn into butterflies and weave a tragic (although I prefer typical, happy ones) love story like ... like ... that ... don't know what it's called in English.
Nights! =)
♥ craving chocolate kisses ..
1:38 AM
1:38 AM
♥ Sunday, May 10, 2009 ♥
The Traditional I-am-Doomed Post
10 May 2009
Sooo.
I really am doomed this time.
Eight days until the exams, and I only read through (note : READ THROUGH, not memorise, as I should have done) the Chapter 4 of Chemistry. Hahaha.
I am not in a studying mood. Not that I ever was, but it's worse this time. I have many other niggling worries in my mind. Like how I'm going to even pass my Chinese exam. Thank you, teacher.
Oh, I forgot! I skipped my Add Maths tuition that day. I don't regret it (for some reasons) even though I know I am going to die a horrible death soon, when I get my Add Maths results. Logarithms. The one time I shouldn't skip the tuition, I did. And the Chapter 3 of AM is so difficult! Arghh.
And I lost my exam timetable. Now I don't know what to study first.
AND I have a crazy amount of homework. How am I supposed to study? And shut up. I know I shouldn't be blogging. Shush.
I am so looking forward to the holiday in June! It will be like December last year again, just not as perfect. But still, it's better than nothing.
I hate this kind of feeling. The exams last for a FORTNIGHT. Madness. Last time the exams were only four days long. I had to stay awake and pry my eyes open for only three nights. Now? TWO WEEKS? If I survive this ...
Wish me luck.
Sooo.
I really am doomed this time.
Eight days until the exams, and I only read through (note : READ THROUGH, not memorise, as I should have done) the Chapter 4 of Chemistry. Hahaha.
I am not in a studying mood. Not that I ever was, but it's worse this time. I have many other niggling worries in my mind. Like how I'm going to even pass my Chinese exam. Thank you, teacher.
Oh, I forgot! I skipped my Add Maths tuition that day. I don't regret it (for some reasons) even though I know I am going to die a horrible death soon, when I get my Add Maths results. Logarithms. The one time I shouldn't skip the tuition, I did. And the Chapter 3 of AM is so difficult! Arghh.
And I lost my exam timetable. Now I don't know what to study first.
AND I have a crazy amount of homework. How am I supposed to study? And shut up. I know I shouldn't be blogging. Shush.
I am so looking forward to the holiday in June! It will be like December last year again, just not as perfect. But still, it's better than nothing.
I hate this kind of feeling. The exams last for a FORTNIGHT. Madness. Last time the exams were only four days long. I had to stay awake and pry my eyes open for only three nights. Now? TWO WEEKS? If I survive this ...
Wish me luck.
♥ craving chocolate kisses ..
10:53 AM
10:53 AM
♥ Thursday, May 07, 2009 ♥
Big Girls Do Cry
7 May 2009
(This is a long, sentimental post. Just warning you.)
My luck went steadily downhill from the moment I stepped into class.
Hey, guess what?
History repeated itself! *feigns look of astonishment*
Guess who the Malay teacher called again for the oral thing? Yes, ME! Surprise, surprise. Oh wait. I shouldn't be! This has happened before! Twice, no less!
#%!*^&!@$#%
Same old, same old. SHE called Qiao Yun (no. 27), and QY didn't prepare for it. That was her second time too. Her second zero. Just like me, a few weeks ago. Sigh. *pitying look*
Then, SHE called the innocent, unsuspecting ME (no.28).
Why? Are those two numbers the only available numbers in class? I can easily list out at least 5 people who have never been called out for this thing before. Why must she call us so many times (THRICE IN MY CASE)??
WHAT THE FUCK.
Okay, so maybe it was (slightly) better than the last two times. I didn't get a zero, although it was probably a number dangerously close to zero, because I can see her not very nice (ie. raised eyebrows, frowns, puzzled yadda yadda) expression clearly from where I was standing.
*Found out today [8.5.2009] that I got a four. Four marks out of ten. FOUR!! *#$&*%
I was so freaking nervous (not to mention x100 times more pissed) already and still I had to stubbornly glance at her and look at her expression. Which made me even more nervous. And pissed, of course. Couldn't she see that I was nervous enough already? Couldn't she keep her (negative) thoughts to herself and not have them etched so clearly on her face? Arghh.
*The upside : I got 28 marks for my actual Malay oral test. Yay.
Actually, I thought she was going to do the short story today. I think many other people ... uh, MISINTERPRETED her meanings and read the short story too. (SEE? EXACTLY THE SAME KIND OF THING HAPPENED LAST TIME. THIS SUCKS.) Only when she came into class did I find out that we were doing the novel.
Will this never end?
*The downside : I found out that even though I had done the "not-the-actual-oral-test test", there is a possibility SHE will call me again. Yay. Because we have to do that thing not only once, but a few times.
******
Besides the above, something else happened today too. Made me downright upset, although I didn't really show it. At least, I don't think I did. But what's the point of acting all poised and keeping up the I-don't-give-a-damn attitude? Really?
I told many people about this, because I really couldn't stand the turmoil going on in my head.
Okay, so this was what happened.
My Chinese teacher announced to the whole class (might as well be the whole world) that my Chinese essay-writing standard is ... well, how do you put it? Not at all up to the Form 4 standard. That I still write like a Form 1/2/3 student. IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS. Hello, unnecessary?
I know. I couldn't have made it any clearer : I FUCKING HATE CHINESE.
And I can't be bothered to read Chinese things. They give me an almighty headache. I'm starting to read the newspaper now, but not the Chinese newspaper. I don't read Chinese books. I seldom listen to Chinese songs. I'm basically anti-Chinese. But I speak Chinese, because I have been speaking the language since I was young and it's not easy to change it now.
If he wants me to improve/turn over a new leaf/destroy my prejudice against Chinese/change my opinions about Chinese/etc, he didn't have to fucking do it in front of the whole class. That was so mean.
EVEN MY SISTER AGREES, and it is not very often my sister agrees with me on this kind of thing.
And if those really were his intentions, I can only say : FUTILITY. Mission failed. If he genuinely thought that being blunt with me will make me improve, then he was wrong.
He made me feel even more hopeless about Chinese. Whatever tiny ember of hope in me, that my Chinese will one day improve even just a little, I can honestly say it disappeared.
I don't deny that I really, really suck in Chinese, I write extremely lousy essays, and my Chinese vocabulary is like a toddler's. Worse than a toddler's, maybe. It's the truth. But I still don't get it. Why must he say it in front of the whole class? He was so ... blunt. It was like a knife, plunging deep into my heart. (Cue applause. How dramatic.)
It was like I wasn't even there, the way he said it.
Like I said, if my English teacher said that to me I'd probably just burst into tears and kill myself. Because it's a subject that I actually like, no matter how much I suck at it.
Now, I am totally determined to improve my English (Ee Leng, talk to me!! T.T). I don't want to be a useless person anymore. I don't want to suck at every subject. Malay is impossible. I had known for ages that Chinese is impossible, but he made it worse. English is my only hope. I don't SUCK terribly at it like Malay or Chinese, but I'm not good at it either. Sighh.
My sister said HE used to be more subtle, he just said SOME people did _____. He didn't mention any names.
And worse still, I have another lousy Chinese essay in his hands. He hasn't marked it yet. It was written months ago, and I remembered how I almost fell asleep writing it. It was even lousier than this one, much much much lousier. Since I hadn't known the "Form 1/2/3 standard writing skills" thing at that time.
I am dreading his reaction. I am dreading how he'd humiliate me this time. Announce it in front of the other classes? I don't know.
I want to cry.
Help me, somebody.
******
I miss my Form 3 days so much. Things were much easier back then. I was much happier, much more carefree. I miss the times I had with my CO friends back in December. That was honestly one of the happiest times of my life. (Screw that. It was probably THE happiest time of my life.) I wish I could reverse and stop time.
I wish .... I wish for so many things.
But what really happens?
(This is a long, sentimental post. Just warning you.)
My luck went steadily downhill from the moment I stepped into class.
Hey, guess what?
History repeated itself! *feigns look of astonishment*
Guess who the Malay teacher called again for the oral thing? Yes, ME! Surprise, surprise. Oh wait. I shouldn't be! This has happened before! Twice, no less!
#%!*^&!@$#%
Same old, same old. SHE called Qiao Yun (no. 27), and QY didn't prepare for it. That was her second time too. Her second zero. Just like me, a few weeks ago. Sigh. *pitying look*
Then, SHE called the innocent, unsuspecting ME (no.28).
Why? Are those two numbers the only available numbers in class? I can easily list out at least 5 people who have never been called out for this thing before. Why must she call us so many times (THRICE IN MY CASE)??
WHAT THE FUCK.
Okay, so maybe it was (slightly) better than the last two times. I didn't get a zero, although it was probably a number dangerously close to zero, because I can see her not very nice (ie. raised eyebrows, frowns, puzzled yadda yadda) expression clearly from where I was standing.
*Found out today [8.5.2009] that I got a four. Four marks out of ten. FOUR!! *#$&*%
I was so freaking nervous (not to mention x100 times more pissed) already and still I had to stubbornly glance at her and look at her expression. Which made me even more nervous. And pissed, of course. Couldn't she see that I was nervous enough already? Couldn't she keep her (negative) thoughts to herself and not have them etched so clearly on her face? Arghh.
*The upside : I got 28 marks for my actual Malay oral test. Yay.
Actually, I thought she was going to do the short story today. I think many other people ... uh, MISINTERPRETED her meanings and read the short story too. (SEE? EXACTLY THE SAME KIND OF THING HAPPENED LAST TIME. THIS SUCKS.) Only when she came into class did I find out that we were doing the novel.
Will this never end?
*The downside : I found out that even though I had done the "not-the-actual-oral-test test", there is a possibility SHE will call me again. Yay. Because we have to do that thing not only once, but a few times.
******
Besides the above, something else happened today too. Made me downright upset, although I didn't really show it. At least, I don't think I did. But what's the point of acting all poised and keeping up the I-don't-give-a-damn attitude? Really?
I told many people about this, because I really couldn't stand the turmoil going on in my head.
Okay, so this was what happened.
My Chinese teacher announced to the whole class (might as well be the whole world) that my Chinese essay-writing standard is ... well, how do you put it? Not at all up to the Form 4 standard. That I still write like a Form 1/2/3 student. IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS. Hello, unnecessary?
I know. I couldn't have made it any clearer : I FUCKING HATE CHINESE.
And I can't be bothered to read Chinese things. They give me an almighty headache. I'm starting to read the newspaper now, but not the Chinese newspaper. I don't read Chinese books. I seldom listen to Chinese songs. I'm basically anti-Chinese. But I speak Chinese, because I have been speaking the language since I was young and it's not easy to change it now.
If he wants me to improve/turn over a new leaf/destroy my prejudice against Chinese/change my opinions about Chinese/etc, he didn't have to fucking do it in front of the whole class. That was so mean.
EVEN MY SISTER AGREES, and it is not very often my sister agrees with me on this kind of thing.
And if those really were his intentions, I can only say : FUTILITY. Mission failed. If he genuinely thought that being blunt with me will make me improve, then he was wrong.
He made me feel even more hopeless about Chinese. Whatever tiny ember of hope in me, that my Chinese will one day improve even just a little, I can honestly say it disappeared.
I don't deny that I really, really suck in Chinese, I write extremely lousy essays, and my Chinese vocabulary is like a toddler's. Worse than a toddler's, maybe. It's the truth. But I still don't get it. Why must he say it in front of the whole class? He was so ... blunt. It was like a knife, plunging deep into my heart. (Cue applause. How dramatic.)
It was like I wasn't even there, the way he said it.
Like I said, if my English teacher said that to me I'd probably just burst into tears and kill myself. Because it's a subject that I actually like, no matter how much I suck at it.
Now, I am totally determined to improve my English (Ee Leng, talk to me!! T.T). I don't want to be a useless person anymore. I don't want to suck at every subject. Malay is impossible. I had known for ages that Chinese is impossible, but he made it worse. English is my only hope. I don't SUCK terribly at it like Malay or Chinese, but I'm not good at it either. Sighh.
My sister said HE used to be more subtle, he just said SOME people did _____. He didn't mention any names.
And worse still, I have another lousy Chinese essay in his hands. He hasn't marked it yet. It was written months ago, and I remembered how I almost fell asleep writing it. It was even lousier than this one, much much much lousier. Since I hadn't known the "Form 1/2/3 standard writing skills" thing at that time.
I am dreading his reaction. I am dreading how he'd humiliate me this time. Announce it in front of the other classes? I don't know.
I want to cry.
Help me, somebody.
******
I miss my Form 3 days so much. Things were much easier back then. I was much happier, much more carefree. I miss the times I had with my CO friends back in December. That was honestly one of the happiest times of my life. (Screw that. It was probably THE happiest time of my life.) I wish I could reverse and stop time.
I wish .... I wish for so many things.
But what really happens?
♥ craving chocolate kisses ..
9:06 PM
9:06 PM
♥ Wednesday, May 06, 2009 ♥
Sometimes ...
6 May 2009
I had gone through a truly awful day. Sigh.
Sometimes, I just wish I can die at will.
Anyway. I find it hard to like HER sometimes. She doesn't think before she speaks. It wasn't like this some time ago, until recently ...
Honestly, sometimes she went way overboard, and I don't think she even noticed.
Maybe she didn't do that on purpose, sometimes these things just slip out of our mouths unintentionally. I'm not denying it, I hurt people too. And I'm sorry.
Maybe she had really good intentions, but everything accidentally came out all wrong. But why do I get the feeling - the bad kind of feeling - that everything didn't happen on accident?
What she said to me didn't really hurt much, but mainly because it was me. I don't give a damn about those things she mentioned, but other people do.
But I guess she's going through a tough time as well.
When the going gets tough, the tough .... eats cookies. No. Better idea.
When the going gets tough, the tough PLAYS MAPLE STORY! Yes. Only 6% till I level up! To Level 19! 19! NINETEEN FOR GOODNESS' SAKE. I have (had)(NO! Have! HAVE!!!) a Level 120 character, but thanks to Asiasoft Passport, I can't reset my password (service temporary unavailable), and thus I can't play that character. Poooh.
Asiasoft Passport better fix the problem soon. AND the problem with the ranking.
********
What goes around comes around ... (sort of)
Every time I skive off my duty, I have terrible bad luck on the same day next week, when I actually intend to go for the duty.
Once, when I skipped my duty, just because I was lazy and it was drizzling slightly, the exact day next week I had gastric pains and couldn't go for the duty.
Last week today, I didn't go for my duty because it was our Chemistry teacher's last day here (and yes, partially because I was lazy). And today? Same thing happened. Had such horrible cramps, I almost puked.
Sigh.
Tomorrow. The "everything-falls-on-the-same-day" thing is happening to me AGAIN. THIS IS CRAP. WHAT DID I DO, HUH?! WHAT?!?!?!
Arrrrrgh.
I had gone through a truly awful day. Sigh.
Sometimes, I just wish I can die at will.
Anyway. I find it hard to like HER sometimes. She doesn't think before she speaks. It wasn't like this some time ago, until recently ...
Honestly, sometimes she went way overboard, and I don't think she even noticed.
Maybe she didn't do that on purpose, sometimes these things just slip out of our mouths unintentionally. I'm not denying it, I hurt people too. And I'm sorry.
Maybe she had really good intentions, but everything accidentally came out all wrong. But why do I get the feeling - the bad kind of feeling - that everything didn't happen on accident?
What she said to me didn't really hurt much, but mainly because it was me. I don't give a damn about those things she mentioned, but other people do.
But I guess she's going through a tough time as well.
When the going gets tough, the tough .... eats cookies. No. Better idea.
When the going gets tough, the tough PLAYS MAPLE STORY! Yes. Only 6% till I level up! To Level 19! 19! NINETEEN FOR GOODNESS' SAKE. I have (had)(NO! Have! HAVE!!!) a Level 120 character, but thanks to Asiasoft Passport, I can't reset my password (service temporary unavailable), and thus I can't play that character. Poooh.
Asiasoft Passport better fix the problem soon. AND the problem with the ranking.
********
What goes around comes around ... (sort of)
Every time I skive off my duty, I have terrible bad luck on the same day next week, when I actually intend to go for the duty.
Once, when I skipped my duty, just because I was lazy and it was drizzling slightly, the exact day next week I had gastric pains and couldn't go for the duty.
Last week today, I didn't go for my duty because it was our Chemistry teacher's last day here (and yes, partially because I was lazy). And today? Same thing happened. Had such horrible cramps, I almost puked.
Sigh.
Tomorrow. The "everything-falls-on-the-same-day" thing is happening to me AGAIN. THIS IS CRAP. WHAT DID I DO, HUH?! WHAT?!?!?!
Arrrrrgh.
♥ craving chocolate kisses ..
11:51 PM
11:51 PM