♥ Saturday, December 19, 2009 ♥
Emptiness
19 December 2009
I feel empty.
After all the endless days of practising for the CO Farewell, which is now over, I have nothing else to do, nothing else to ... anticipate. Yes, you heard it right.
I know it's pretty pathetic, the way my whole holidays revolved around CO and ONLY CO.
There is no CO practice for next week, and I have totally no idea what to do then. When I told my mom about it, she said I was just a lazy ass, and I could always wash the clothes, dishes, underwear, kill caterpillars, mow the lawn, BLAH BLAH BLAH.
(Of course she didn't say all that. I made it up. For EMPHASIS.)
AND she complained about the many (to her) times I went out with my friends. It was like ... what, two freaking times?!
She said I went out more often than her. Of course. She didn't really go out at all. And she doesn't even like going out, I think. Even if she does, she STILL doesn't go out.
AND I'm a teenager. Of course I go out a lot (not that much though). What am I supposed to do, kill, chop, slice, mince caterpillars into pieces to prepare a stew at home? *rolls eyes*
Anyway. I'm just saying. I'm feeling exactly like the way I did last year, after the CO competition at KL. Empty. I missed everyone a lot. And I miss everyone now. And our last practice was just today morning. Gosh, how I'm going to get past next week, I don't know.
How do I say it? I'm sure you know the feeling. Let's see. Hmm. You have been eating caterpillar pies for a whole month, and suddenly, you realise that there are no more caterpillar pies at home.
That feeling! I have been seeing all these people for weeks and weeks. And suddenly, I won't be seeing them anymore. It's only for a short week, merely seven days, but still. It feels strange. I've gotten used to being around them.
I even wish Christmas would pass quickly, so I could see them all, on the 28th. And that is not normal. I love Christmas. :(
Damn.
Boo. I'll be posting up some photos soon! Either of the Farewell or of our Christmas decorations at home.
I have put up the small Christmas tree in my room!
And I dare not open the windows anymore, because it's pretty windy around here, especially at night, and I'm terrified that my Christmas tree would topple over, crash to the floor, ruin the ornaments, damage the lights etc.
Blah blah blah. I'm babbling again. Time to (prepare to) sleep now, and wait, patiently, until the 28th of December.
Yes, I'm pathetic. Can't help it if I love all of the CO members so much, right. Hahaha.
And WTF. I forgot to mention. I STEPPED on a fucking lizard's dried, hardened CARCASS that day on the stairs at school. Made such loud "CRACK", I thought I'd stepped on a dry twig. Turned out to be a fucking LIZARD. My absolute worst nightmare. The sticky, half-transparent, beady-eyed creatures. EEW. *vomits*
OH! And. Although there are still a few days ... BEST OF LUCK to the people who are going to be getting their PMR results on the 24th (if I'm not mistaken)!! And don't worry too much!
I feel empty.
After all the endless days of practising for the CO Farewell, which is now over, I have nothing else to do, nothing else to ... anticipate. Yes, you heard it right.
I know it's pretty pathetic, the way my whole holidays revolved around CO and ONLY CO.
There is no CO practice for next week, and I have totally no idea what to do then. When I told my mom about it, she said I was just a lazy ass, and I could always wash the clothes, dishes, underwear, kill caterpillars, mow the lawn, BLAH BLAH BLAH.
(Of course she didn't say all that. I made it up. For EMPHASIS.)
AND she complained about the many (to her) times I went out with my friends. It was like ... what, two freaking times?!
She said I went out more often than her. Of course. She didn't really go out at all. And she doesn't even like going out, I think. Even if she does, she STILL doesn't go out.
AND I'm a teenager. Of course I go out a lot (not that much though). What am I supposed to do, kill, chop, slice, mince caterpillars into pieces to prepare a stew at home? *rolls eyes*
Anyway. I'm just saying. I'm feeling exactly like the way I did last year, after the CO competition at KL. Empty. I missed everyone a lot. And I miss everyone now. And our last practice was just today morning. Gosh, how I'm going to get past next week, I don't know.
How do I say it? I'm sure you know the feeling. Let's see. Hmm. You have been eating caterpillar pies for a whole month, and suddenly, you realise that there are no more caterpillar pies at home.
That feeling! I have been seeing all these people for weeks and weeks. And suddenly, I won't be seeing them anymore. It's only for a short week, merely seven days, but still. It feels strange. I've gotten used to being around them.
I even wish Christmas would pass quickly, so I could see them all, on the 28th. And that is not normal. I love Christmas. :(
Damn.
Boo. I'll be posting up some photos soon! Either of the Farewell or of our Christmas decorations at home.
I have put up the small Christmas tree in my room!
And I dare not open the windows anymore, because it's pretty windy around here, especially at night, and I'm terrified that my Christmas tree would topple over, crash to the floor, ruin the ornaments, damage the lights etc.
Blah blah blah. I'm babbling again. Time to (prepare to) sleep now, and wait, patiently, until the 28th of December.
Yes, I'm pathetic. Can't help it if I love all of the CO members so much, right. Hahaha.
And WTF. I forgot to mention. I STEPPED on a fucking lizard's dried, hardened CARCASS that day on the stairs at school. Made such loud "CRACK", I thought I'd stepped on a dry twig. Turned out to be a fucking LIZARD. My absolute worst nightmare. The sticky, half-transparent, beady-eyed creatures. EEW. *vomits*
OH! And. Although there are still a few days ... BEST OF LUCK to the people who are going to be getting their PMR results on the 24th (if I'm not mistaken)!! And don't worry too much!
♥ craving chocolate kisses ..
10:46 PM
10:46 PM