30 August 2009

I can actually sympathize with him now.

Not daring to say too much, even things that have to be said, for fear of breaking a person's heart.

Why are all hearts so fragile, so easily wounded, so easily crushed into pieces?

I'm smiling, but my insides are slowly falling apart. And I still can't say anything. I need a distraction, but what?

My holidays (assuming that it only started on Monday and the last weekend wasn't included) have been nothing but rotten. Sick for a few days. School. Stayed back in school until 4. School again. Shopped for a certain present with Su Yin, a queasy stomach, blisters all over my feet, and thoughts about the gloomy weather outside. Got wet. Again.

It really is a wonder I'm still alive, and not sicker than ever.

Talking about my lousy holidays are a distraction, but not distracting enough to make me forget that scene. No. This sucks. I think only a brainwash would suffice. Hopefully I get to move to some other country, settle down there and start a new life.

I want to wrap the present. But I have no UHU. I want to sleep. But I already did for the whole morning. I want to go downstairs. But I can't, because my sister and her friends (almost 10 people. The horror.) are downstairs, having their Chemistry tuition with my dad's genius of a friend as the tutor. I'm terrified I'd get forced to sit there and listen too. I can't even go downstairs to get a SWEET.

So I'm stuck up here. With that image in my mind. Fucking thing. Yes. I have been through a phase like this before. Last year, when the end-of-year holidays started. I still remember.

I finally met up with Rui Mei yesterday! A fleeting, happy moment. Cracked up like maniacs last night. Haha. Long story.

We went to watch Ning Zhen's ballet concert. It was a terrific success! :)

The spotlights and props (MUSHROOMS!) were fantastic. So were the costumes! But found out that I really don't understand ballet. They all look the same to me. Hahaha. But great job, Ning Zhen and Ning Hui! And Eunice!

Had to miss the Traffic Farewell to attend the concert, but quite honestly I'd much rather miss the farewell than Ning Zhen's concert, which I already paid for. Ha-ha. Sorry.

Sigggh. School is reopening in two days. Two fricking days. I haven't done my homework. I haven't made plans to do my homework. What to do, what to do.

NOOOOOOO. I want to hit something. I have to hit something. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.